Sunday, July 13, 2008

I realize this blog hasn't been very funny.

So far this blog hasn't been very funny, despite the fact that that was my original goal. It's like, the lack of journalistic judgment I'm trying to highlight is so un-funny, it sucks the funny out of me.

So, here's the coolest video of a guy doing the robot dance I have ever seen. You've probably already seen this on YouTube, but HOLY SHIT!

HOLY SHIT that guy is good. I would LOVE to read a twelve-part Washington Post profile of that guy.

Also: Sorry, Chandra, for using your brutal murder to sell papers.

Twelve stories that deserve a twelve-part series in the Washington Post more than the brutal murder of Chandra Levy seven years ago.

  1. 4,075
  2. 30,182
  3. The shameful neglect of our brave servicemen and women in the VA hospital system -- even at national showcase Walter Reed. (The post's pulitzer-prize-winning coverage seems to have consisted of nine main articles).
  4. The enshrinement of an imperial presidency with the right to violate laws at whim, codified by a scared Democratic Congress through its vote on FISA.
  5. The development of a complacent, inside-the-bubble Washington press corps that is more concerned with getting invited to the next cocktail party than holding those in power accountable.
  6. One sad face of the mortgage crisis -- people you know who stretched themselves not because they were selfish, but because they were a combination of optimistic for their future prospects and maybe a little self-deluded, who felt that in ten years when their balloon mortgage exploded they would have "made it" and could refinance on their own terms.
  7. The murder of a young man named Ronnie White -- who by all accounts was a bad, bad person, and who allegedly killed a cop, making him the lowest of the low -- in his Washington-area prison cell, in what looks like a retribution killing by authorities sworn to uphold the law this man broke time and again. This seemingly officially sanctioned death is an extraordinary attack on everything this country stands for: rule of law, innocent until proven guilty, and a belief in order over chaos. Yet how can we be surprised in an era when these values are officially trampled at the highest level?
  8. An exploration of the ripple effects of an official policy implicitly endorsing torture -- how it is felt in all aspects of American society, in popular culture, in our penal system, in our foreign policy, and in our own homes.
  9. OBL.
  10. The shady political machinations of corporations aligned with the Bush administration to surpress, then question, then delay action on climate change -- and a serious look at what action will be necessary to forestall the worst if the current scientific consensus is accurate.
  11. America's retreat from the world, the world's revulsion with America -- and how both make us dramatically less secure than we were eight years ago.
  12. My ass.

Poor Chandra Levy

Poor Chandra Levy was killed by either Gary Condit or a random mugger. That's it. That's what the freaking twelve-part series that started today in the Washington Post is going to tell you.

You can read Chapter 1 here.

Chandra Levy was probably a very nice person, and she certainly didn't deserve to be killed. But she died seven years ago, and in that time our nation has seen its civil liberties eroded, its moral authority across the world shattered, and its sense of optimism and hope for the future utterly destroyed -- hopefully not forever.

Any single aspect of the path that got us here deserves a twelve-part series in one of this nation's few papers of record more than the brutal murder of this poor, innocent woman who was taken too soon. For God's sake, Washington Post, at long last -- have you no self respect?

So, this blog was created as one person's desperate and impossible attempt to forestall the inevitable waste of time, newspaper space and ink that is this twelve part series. How? By providing a spoiler that ruins the whole thing, and then maybe, God willing, makes the Post rethink its decision. Don't read on if you don't want to find out how the story ends.




Poor Chandra Levy was brutally murdered by either Gary Condit or a random mugger. We really just don't know.

That is all.